Mom says the best things in life come for free. 7-Eleven’s Free Slurpee Day, library books, a Tesla test drive. Dad says you can’t capture a sunset without a good camera. Axel says there’s no such thing as free lunch. But if someone offers you a free steak dinner, chances are they want something. I want everything I own to be worthy, but without losing my freedom. No tricks, no gimmicks. Our neighborhood beauty salon offers one twenty-minute facial and skincare consultation session on the house. That pimply guy in Whole Foods gives away samples of Cape Cod trail mix every Thursday while checking his phone the whole time. One bite, two bites, three bites. My sister does free Yoga sessions on YouTube. She says she can afford a gym but that gyms are for losers. She doesn’t believe in mental health. She takes rolls of used-up paper towels from the corner grocery store every weekend, stocking them up in her pantry for a doomsday scenario. Turns out there is a market for used egg cartons. Who knew? She gives away the sweaters and furniture and houseware she doesn’t use anymore on community Facebook groups—for free. Who knows, she says, maybe you’ll end up making friends for nothing. Mom brings us to Mass every Sunday. My sister says the church is the biggest store in the world that offers their services for free. I wonder if God’s love, too, is for free. When we were little, Axel and I would try to capture Santa by using Mom’s delicious shortbreads as bait, so we could have free presents every day for eternity. Instead, we were given a free lesson on deprivation of liberty and free-country economics. Dad said there are better ways to capitalize on free will. He said we were gifted with second sight. He sure could peek under the shiny wrapping of people and know what lay inside the package. He knew at first glance that we were the clean-up crew. Nothing but a bunch of freeloaders.
Sarp Sozdinler has been published in Electric Literature, Kenyon Review, Masters Review, Fractured Lit, JMWW, Normal House, and Maudlin House, among other journals. His stories have been selected or nominated for such anthologies as the Pushcart Prize, Best Small Fictions, and Wigleaf Top 50. He is currently at work on his first novel in Philadelphia and Amsterdam: www.sarpsozdinler.com