[ ]
It is not difficult to locate [ ]. My recommendation: a museum, specifically an annex dedicated to landscape portraiture. But how to exit safely, undetected? That is a question of living. And camera backpacks with compartments designed for suspiciously long lenses.
(Bonus credit for [ ] gilded in gold leaf. Over time, it may chip and flake, revealing rust-colored base metal. In other words, an alibi.)
Make sure to purchase a table saw months before your caper, before authorities lock down every home improvement store within a 50 miles radius and comb through receipts. Maybe I should list this as step #1. Jumping straight to robbery disconcerts some. But after a few ill-fitting porch rails, a porous flowerbed, [ ] becomes more alluring.
Invest in a high-quality table saw. You want a clean cut. Do not make my mistake. I fell asleep atop my [ ]. The jagged edges sank into the soft tissue between my shoulder blades.
Consider a trial run with [ ]. For example, spray paint a gust of wind on the side of an art deco skyscraper. Then use [ ]. Likely, nothing will happen immediately. Be patient. Wait for nightfall. Most likely, a terracotta angel will crash onto the pavement, startle a street sweeper driver. Your first casualty count will include several pigeons.
I am not the first to discover [ ]. Many use it for good. Here are newspaper clippings on surprisingly clean gravediggers, miracle-working surgeons, and an astronomer whose office is the formaldehyde of deep night.
Your objective should be finesse, a cult-like following. Too much attention threatens our secret [ ]. My closest study draws diagrams with ruler-straight edges, protractor guided angles. When looking through her latest papers, I grew concerned with the seventh iteration of an airplane inside [ ].
An airplane mid-flight introduces countless uncontrollable variables. Would [ ] just crash the plane, transporting it into a cornfield or ocean? From the ground, [ ] would capture 99% sky, cloud, and a spray of starlings. Open your garage to a thunderstorm. Open your mouth to a feathered tongue. I reminded her of the cult-like goal, asked for an eighth, more precise iteration.
Inside this packing envelope is an airplane ticket. Stow your [ ] in checked baggage where it is less likely to be confiscated. I have also included a copy of her eighth iteration. Remember: resist the urge to pop the bubble wrap inside the terminal.
See the hot air balloon hovering near the right wing just after takeoff, how [ ] collapses the field of vision when attached to a camera lens. What I have not tested is whether [ ] captures the person or just their reflected surprise.
